I am sorry you have to fill the pain of losing a child. I to have had to bear that pain, I lost my son and also one of my granddaughters. I pray for you and your family. The pain never gose away, but it does get better.
I’m just 1 person on the earth but I’m so sad for you .. so so sad ... it will be alright eventually .. and you will have the gift of the family you desire ... God Bless